we're keeping balloting open for forty more minutes.
Allright, I'm here by myself to start.
It's 7:07 ET and I just watched a reporter nearly make out with Hailee Steinfeld.
And now Jesse Eisenberg (whose bangs cover the lobotomy scar) drones.
He doesn't own a television. He's super.
We're not really getting going until 8pm over here, but I'm here for you.
There are 500 members of the press at the Oscar.
Here's Cuba Gooding Jr.'s acceptance speech! The night that launched him to international superstar! He loves everybody!
By the way, I'm really impressed with Miracle Whip trying to make people take a strong position about it. Great campaign. I would love to be a writer whose job it was to write mean things about miracle whip. I mean, seriously- I would fill reams of paper with metaphors about how awful miracle whip is.
The Oscars is like Thanksgiving for Haters. Hate Thanksgiving. Speaking of hate- Amy Adams dress looks like Wonder Woman in formal wear.
Currently Mila Kunis is the only dress I've liked.
Tonight kids will be singing somewhere over the rainbow. Which is like a scheduled bathroom break.
Awesome.
Guest blogger Kenny just asked if it would be inappropriate to call the Oscars "The Gay Super Bowl". If so- does that make Tim Gunn the Gay Terry Bradshaw?
Cate Blanchett has yet to recover from Robin Hood. I hope an agent was killed over her involvement int that movie.
Whoever that dude was who just said that Hailee (Joel) Steinfeld will win because of ads taken out just revealed so much of what is laughably horrible about the Oscars. Grah!
Scarlett Johanson is rocking the Something About Mary hair tonight. Good to see.
Valentino looks like he might be related to John Boehner.
Okay we're ten minutes away from starting for real. Put on your game face.
Gwyneth Paltrow going to sing some Country Song tonight? That's another nice bathroom break right there. Also, it's nice to see Reese Witherspoon looking like Vanna White.
Holy shit, Jennifer Hudson, what happened! She looks like she has a pair of tape worms fighting it out.
not impressed with natalie portman's teeth. Is whitening bad for the baby??
8:02 James Franco always looks stoned. Impressive.
8:08 Sandra Bullock is slowly becoming Joan Crawford. Tell no one.
8:10 Outside of terrorist attack, I throw out the question what is the most shocking thing that could take place at this academy awards? I'm going to go with James Franco coming out of the closet during the opening ceremony.
8:14 Gwyneth suggests Jay-Z mash up. Angels and ministers of grace, defend us.
8:17 Evidently Jennifer hudson is 20ft tall. who knew?
8:18 Most shocking thing? Christopher Nolan admits that that Inception made no sense and Winter's Bone wins best picture. God that picture was miserable.
8:23 Roberto Benigni's Oscar acceptance speech is the favorite of all time. And yet, he was allowed exactly one more attempt at movie making before being drummed out of hollywood forever. Granted that movie was pinnochio which you can see at the video store in pristine and unrented condition because no one saw that movie. Or if you did, tell me about it- because I can't picture how that movie could have so summarily executed that man's American career.
8:27 I am delighted to see Tom Hanks looking more or less healthy. Let's light this candle!!!
8:25: The backstage and sit down interviews are really giving me a window into the mind of a movie star. they are all saying they remember nothing about winning
8:28 Jake Gyllenhal has apparently remade 12 Monkeys on a train.
Allright, I'm here by myself to start.
It's 7:07 ET and I just watched a reporter nearly make out with Hailee Steinfeld.
And now Jesse Eisenberg (whose bangs cover the lobotomy scar) drones.
He doesn't own a television. He's super.
We're not really getting going until 8pm over here, but I'm here for you.
There are 500 members of the press at the Oscar.
Here's Cuba Gooding Jr.'s acceptance speech! The night that launched him to international superstar! He loves everybody!
By the way, I'm really impressed with Miracle Whip trying to make people take a strong position about it. Great campaign. I would love to be a writer whose job it was to write mean things about miracle whip. I mean, seriously- I would fill reams of paper with metaphors about how awful miracle whip is.
The Oscars is like Thanksgiving for Haters. Hate Thanksgiving. Speaking of hate- Amy Adams dress looks like Wonder Woman in formal wear.
Currently Mila Kunis is the only dress I've liked.
Tonight kids will be singing somewhere over the rainbow. Which is like a scheduled bathroom break.
Awesome.
Guest blogger Kenny just asked if it would be inappropriate to call the Oscars "The Gay Super Bowl". If so- does that make Tim Gunn the Gay Terry Bradshaw?
Cate Blanchett has yet to recover from Robin Hood. I hope an agent was killed over her involvement int that movie.
Whoever that dude was who just said that Hailee (Joel) Steinfeld will win because of ads taken out just revealed so much of what is laughably horrible about the Oscars. Grah!
Scarlett Johanson is rocking the Something About Mary hair tonight. Good to see.
Valentino looks like he might be related to John Boehner.
Okay we're ten minutes away from starting for real. Put on your game face.
Gwyneth Paltrow going to sing some Country Song tonight? That's another nice bathroom break right there. Also, it's nice to see Reese Witherspoon looking like Vanna White.
Holy shit, Jennifer Hudson, what happened! She looks like she has a pair of tape worms fighting it out.
not impressed with natalie portman's teeth. Is whitening bad for the baby??
8:00 Hello all. I am coming to you from an Oscar party in the Washington, DC suburbs. Glamorous! An oddly large number of people here are Gilbert & Sullivan aficionados. Tonight I will attempt the dangerous task of live blogging while remaining mildly social. This should be… interesting. First question: Does anyone remember who hosted last year? I don’t. Anne Hathway and James Franco have to at least be nominally more memorable, right?
8:08 Sandra Bullock is slowly becoming Joan Crawford. Tell no one.
8:10 Outside of terrorist attack, I throw out the question what is the most shocking thing that could take place at this academy awards? I'm going to go with James Franco coming out of the closet during the opening ceremony.
8:14 Gwyneth suggests Jay-Z mash up. Angels and ministers of grace, defend us.
8:17 Evidently Jennifer hudson is 20ft tall. who knew?
8:18 Most shocking thing? Christopher Nolan admits that that Inception made no sense and Winter's Bone wins best picture. God that picture was miserable.
8:23 Roberto Benigni's Oscar acceptance speech is the favorite of all time. And yet, he was allowed exactly one more attempt at movie making before being drummed out of hollywood forever. Granted that movie was pinnochio which you can see at the video store in pristine and unrented condition because no one saw that movie. Or if you did, tell me about it- because I can't picture how that movie could have so summarily executed that man's American career.
8:27 I am delighted to see Tom Hanks looking more or less healthy. Let's light this candle!!!
8:25: The backstage and sit down interviews are really giving me a window into the mind of a movie star. they are all saying they remember nothing about winning
7 comments:
Note that Tim Gunn introduced Marisa Tomei as "the beautiful Marisa Tomei" not "the beautiful and talented Marisa Tomei."
Anne Hathaway has a huge mouth. She looks in danger of accidentally swallowing herself every time she speaks. I fear this may be distracting tonight.
I have super mancrush on Justin Timberlake. It's been a while since somebody cracked that status. I'm just going to own that. Live with it. Feel my own shame.
"Gwyneth Paltrow going to sing some Country Song tonight? That's another nice bathroom break right there."
Unless there's a chance Cee Lo Green might bust into the middle of her number. I'd stay in the room for that.
AND MUPPETS!
Drink every time someone gives a union shout out!
For the record, Dee Dee has MUCH better arms than Anne Hathaway. She should stop wailing those things around.
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